Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
