Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
