Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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