Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
