this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
