Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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