how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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