I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
