we have pet lesbian snakes
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
