the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
