tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
