You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
