Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
