i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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