i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize