We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
