i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize