Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
