yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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