Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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