11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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