For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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