I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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