I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize