and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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