he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
