I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize