go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
