White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i black out too much to be "responsible"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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