I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
as a side note pls kill me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
