i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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