with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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