Im at strip club and am horny
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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