She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
