i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
