Cold hands, warm shart.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize