Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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