You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Come see our sink grown plant.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
