I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
