And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
