My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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