I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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