What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
