This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
