Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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