And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We need to get me chipped asap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize