we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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