My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
