i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
