Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
