On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
