everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
