He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
