ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
