where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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