How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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