You work out of a Hotel?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
