the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
