There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
