Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
