I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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