eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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