He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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