What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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