I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
