i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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