They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
